Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
草根胡安在野球场被一心想要成为教练的资深球探发掘，想要通过试训让他通过选秀为自己的母队效力，虽然篮球天赋鹤立鸡群，但单身爸爸的身份和暴力伤人的前科，让他难以适应球场垃圾话的攻势，体能和技术可以在天道酬勤的下提升，但良好的赛场心态却是常规训练中无法雕琢的，求生心切的对手只会攻击你的逆鳞，诋毁她女儿那个离他远去的母亲，用拳头而不是用篮球打倒对手让他自毁前程，一场不期而遇的试训才让他实现了救赎，只不过下次你遇见我的时候我们将是值得尊重的对手，击败你是对你最大的尊重。
挺爆米花的，全程无尿点梗太多看得很放松233，最后的吸尘器广告植入再加一星😂
真的好久没有看到过这么让人开心的喜剧了！
虽然剧情俗套，但看的还是挺开心的，仿佛是细节丰满跌宕起伏的2K个人生涯模式
太可惜了！！不知道谁想的这天才想法，现在影星ip漫威宇宙搞客串，但谁能客串的过体育界，尤其足球篮球，每一个人都是一颗星，而且这些人天天在聚光灯下客串一个小角色基础的演技一点问题也没有，抓紧足球也搞啊想啥呢，但足球肯定是比不过篮球的，这也是太太太可惜的一点nba商业联盟虽然有对抗性，但理论上都是为一家公司打工，好出戏但结果你没出，摄影导演拍的已经没问题了，华子你看演的多好估计现实里也这贱出本色出演了，亚当桑德勒转型后也是越看越顺眼，主角一般但主要是你编剧没跟上啊，你扬长避短啊交代这么多感情戏给球员干啥啊？？亲情是简单但越简单的情感处理起来越麻烦，真的蠢就简单的个体对抗资本，资本的手段还没展现干啥呢，每个人都是自己世界里的乔丹，自己和自己比拼，主角去了76人桑德勒去了别的队当教练他们自己比拼懂吗
虽溺入人海，百无禁忌，至少尚存善意的英雄梦。
草根胡安在野球场被一心想要成为教练的资深球探发掘，想要通过试训让他通过选秀为自己的母队效力，虽然篮球天赋鹤立鸡群，但单身爸爸的身份和暴力伤人的前科，让他难以适应球场垃圾话的攻势，体能和技术可以在天道酬勤的下提升，但良好的赛场心态却是常规训练中无法雕琢的，求生心切的对手只会攻击你的逆鳞，诋毁她女儿那个离他远去的母亲，用拳头而不是用篮球打倒对手让他自毁前程，一场不期而遇的试训才让他实现了救赎，只不过下次你遇见我的时候我们将是值得尊重的对手，击败你是对你最大的尊重。
本片是蛮好笑的，我在某场所嘴一直是被逗裂开的，特别结局高潮那段哈哈，直接给我暂停埋头冷静了一下哈哈...本片大部分喜剧成分其实是涩涩方面的，虽说法国是浪漫之都，但搞h可特别钟爱，其中很多喜剧涩涩桥段又憨憨又蠢萌，同款操作换别国家拍可能真没这有趣的味道。以前我看过一部同样是法国喜剧电影《洗漱睡觉吧！宝贝》其中男主有一段模拟嘿咻的演绎震惊我一万年！不得不承认法国的涩是最调皮的性搞怪.....法乳自己，恶搞巴黎圣母院哈哈。女主好好看！原名也叫爱丽丝！我更爱！
当之无愧“扁福侠”法国人狠狠地恶搞漫威和DC英雄们。菲利普·拉肖俨然已是法国“周星驰”了，将他一贯无厘头剧情与烂俗桥段掺杂风格发挥到极致。还将法国这几年发生大事件也搞进来反正逗你一笑就好，最后把汤姆哥也搞进去是不是有点过分？！
哈哈如果不是心里烦，可能会更加的哈哈大笑几次，技法很成熟，男主角还身兼导演。挺有意思的。
笑死，小成本恶搞电影，又有那么点人生哲理真情实意在里面，如果换成好莱坞来拍应该会更流畅，质感更好一些，但也会没那么滑稽了。
我只能说很遗憾亚当桑德勒没能贡献《原钻》中的精彩表演，甚至辞职那点都演的平平淡淡的，我有点失望
可太好笑了
漫威到DC之间的反复横跳黑，算是近期难得有被笑到的有梗喜剧了。
法式幽默+法式恋爱，处处隐含了小心机，比如假面舞会回忆一个是迈克尔杰克逊，一个是小男孩，然后相爱了。#20220622
演员车祸失忆，以为自己是超级英雄。老爸是即将退休的警察，有个劫匪要杀他。两条线合流，父子和解。反转了一个爱情，路上偶遇的其实是女友。好多超英电影梗。
情感充沛的励志体育电影电影，作为一名球迷十分买账，难能可贵的是由一群专业球员拍出来的，另外华子的演技是真不错。
笑料很足，法国风情，致敬经典，将无厘头演绎到很高的档次
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！缺点是屁股太多，我更想它专注吐槽美漫和好莱坞部分。
恶搞超级英雄的喜剧电影，戏里不知身是客，一晌贪欢。
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