Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
看到有豆瓣短评提及《喜剧之王》，在我看来这部片子也就只有《新喜剧之王》的水准。——《魔幻时刻》→《这个杀手不太冷静》，《迫在眉梢》→《误杀2》，《世上最美的离别》→《关于我妈的一切》，《我的机器人女友》→《我的女友是机器人》，《蒙太奇》→《你是凶手》，韩国版《阳光姐妹淘》→《阳光姐妹淘》中国版，《盗钥匙的方法》→《人潮汹涌》，《计划男》→《温暖的抱抱》，《伟大的愿望》→《小小的愿望》，《完美陌生人》→《来电狂响》，《妻子小姐》→《美好的意外》，《家族之苦》 →《麻烦家族》，《非常主播》→《外公芳龄38》，《天伦之旅》→《一切都好》，《盲证》→《我是证人》，《结婚大作战》→《新娘大作战》……对国产翻拍片习以为常的失望。——《误杀》《五个扑水的少年》……是相对而言个人感觉还可以的国产翻拍作。
新的一年，普通人继续加油鸭！
喜剧桥段没有逻辑是无厘头，连所有的剧情都没有逻辑，就是烂片了，梦回新喜剧之王。
整个春节档，我一看到一部电影，哎呀，春节嘛，就是为了开开心心，快快乐乐的。你说电影质量有多高，也会been魏翔演的呢，算是不错，但是也没有太好笑点，也没有多多，但是整体就是喜庆嘛。
意大利黑帮的车牌好像有点东西，应该是教父的上映日期吧？感觉杀手好多地方都埋着各种彩蛋，有点意思
只比未成功
已经不能用无聊来形容了 当然也必须承认 喜剧的成功比悲剧要难太多了
对得起春节档的一部片子吧，在我这儿7.5分。魏翔老师有几个镜头愣是给我感觉好像刘奕君。
比春晚还要尬，就是一加长版的小品，时间线完全错乱，驴头不对马嘴的各种经典电影的乱入，使劲儿出洋相，出怪腔，搞怪样，这种努力很用力的搞笑的样子是最可笑的，喜剧最切记的就是用力过猛，用力过猛就是闹剧，中国好的喜剧电影从十七年电影以来就很少，闹剧倒是像老母鸡下蛋一样，扑哧扑哧的一泡又一泡
还是三谷幸喜magic hour里的奶遥和深津绘里印象深刻啊
5.当个博人一笑的小品看就行了，卖弄的表演风格也是迎合了长久浸染在媚俗的社会审美趣味的观众。戏剧电影重舞台，表演腔，跳脱现实本无可厚非。但改编，只是单纯的加快节奏、缩短篇幅、比原版更加通俗易懂，甚至看不出任何“有意义的再创作”意愿。作为电影，创作者更是不具备对电影语言使用的自觉。
很不错的喜剧片，首先是剧本足够完整，这在近年来的电影市场中实在是太难得了，虽然接下来的每一个情节都能猜到，但是笑果十足，而且把握住了“喜剧的内核是悲剧”这个要点，笑到“杀青”那场戏的时候真的把这种悲剧感渲染到了极点；其次是它居然还敢挑战了雨中曲却毫不违和；最后电影结尾花絮里有一小段是演员魏翔在真正杀青的时候哭着感谢给他这次男主角机会的所有人，真的可以体验到一个剧组小人物内心的百感交集
多坚持了一次
好笑就可以了，虽然是翻拍剧本扎实有关系。致敬了《雨中曲》和《教父》，包袱很不错，笑死了！
看完谁不说一句魏翔值得！
经典的致敬和故事的底色真的很难让人相信是开心麻花做出来的（后来才知道算翻拍？），确实可以说精彩也有那么点悲凉，如果口碑爆了也能理解的那种。男主太丑了，温情的我很难代入，虽然部分我时常会想起周星驰的电影，但我寻思着周星驰都是帅的啊！！！电影真的是有门槛的，不好看的……就真的费劲不容易招人喜欢。而观众缘又不近取决于颜值演技，是玄学（实话）
【有剧透】
没看过原版
垃圾啊，矫揉造作，强行煽情。本来觉得2星差不多，少1星为了那不值的付费6块钱。当宣发能力强过编剧能力100倍的时候，就会让观众有上当受骗的感觉。没看的朋友千万不要抱有任何期待，就算仅仅图个热闹看这片，这种轻松热闹的感觉也只能持续20分钟，后面就一直是恶心反胃了。
能哈哈哈真诚地乐，这是笑片的基本，然后就是渲染的煽情不尴尬，两点都合格了。遗憾的地方是全片的舞台式做作感到最后也没在风格上完全整合起来
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